Burn after reading…

I'm sad. Today is Christmas Eve and I know I should be full of the holiday spirit but these holidays are a difficult time for me mentally. I've never shared that with anyone. I'm prolly going to delete this in a few hours but I just need to get this out. The holidays remind me of my lack of a romantic love. Every year I hope things will be different but they are not. It really fucks with a girl self esteem. I think because I desire love soo much it keeps evading me. I keep picking wrong and right dosent pick me. People see me and think I have so many men wanting me. They only want to fuck me. They literally grt turned off when they realize I'm smart and I want to love them for real. My ass stay getting ghosted. It's really a mind fuck for a man to use my softness, submission, and feelings for him as weapons. I'm Not the crazy type to cuss them out or do petty stuff. I just internalize and cry. Today is a real bad day and a girl keeps crying. My house full of family and laughter and I'm in the car crying and writing this. This year really fucked me up mentally. I wore my heart on my sleeve and it nearly destroyed me. Self esteem was almost shot! I'm grateful for it all. I did learn so much.

Ok emotional outburst over. I'm drying up my tears like I do every year and still believing next year will be different. I will always believe love is possible for me. Thanks for allowing me to vent.

Love y'all,

Keke B.